Everyone is fast asleep and I finally had time to catch up reading messages on the blog, Facebook, & text messages. Please forgive Alicia & I for not responding back to many of them. Just know that we appreciate all of them!
Briley has done excellent this afternoon. She finally had her first bites to eat since the accident. First there was some ice cream. And then chips & hot sauce! One heck of a combination! Her pain is becoming less & less as the day drags on. She lays in one position for a while and becomes uncomfortable, but she doesn't tell us because it hurts her when we try to reposition her. She is still running fever around 100.5 with tylenol. We had a number of visitors today and Briley stayed awake all day! So I hope that she sleeps well tonight, as well as Alicia.
To the emotional side of the story: You know when something bad happens to someone and you want to say something, but you don't know what to say. Well, that's the way I am with my wife. She is understandably taking Gloria's death hard. She is strong when people are visiting, but once everyone leaves, she lets it loose. She just wants to pick up the phone and call her mom, but can't. I don't know what to say or do. She saw things Thursday night that will haunt her forever. Her faith in God is incredible! Many people could easily turn their backs on their faith in this situation, but her's grows stronger. She is an inspiration to us all and she certainly keeps my faith in check from time to time.
As for the hospital stays, it almost seems like the norm, just something different. I hate to say that, but it's true. I am proud of Briley. She is one tough cookie! She has been so cooperative with the doctors & nurses for a kid her age. I've been telling her how proud I am of her, how big she is, and how much I wish I could take her pain away and give it to me. Briley understands what happened. Alicia had a talk with her today about Nana and explained that she is in heaven with Jesus. Nana has had her time here on earth spoiling her grandkids, now it's time for her to be spoiled. Gloria, and her daughter Patricia, and her oldest grandkid Mason are now reunited. If anyone knew Gloria, they know that she was one of the nicest people that you could ever meet. She really did put everyone else first before her.
As for me, I really don't know what to make of all of it. As the man of the house, it's my job to provide & protect. I feel like I've failed in so many ways. I know that none of this is about me nor should it be but it's like somewhere in life I screwed up and now I'm getting it paid back by hurting the ones I love the most.
We'll see what tomorrow brings. I pray that Briley will continue to heal and her pain continues to decrease. Hopefully Briley will allow Alicia to go back home tomorrow afternoon. Alicia needs to be with family for a little while and see her mom for the last time. Monday is shaping up to be a busy day at Cooks, so I will have to stay with Briley. It's going to kill me to miss the funeral. I had the best mother-in-law ever.
We are thankful and very fortunate that our kids are still with us. We are also thankful for each one of you for taking your time to read this blog and praying for us. The outpouring of help & prayers has once again been awesome! Thank you so much!
Oh John, surely you must know that you CANNOT feel responsible for any of this!!!!! That's not how it works ... none of these terrible things are a sort of "payback" for anything you did or did not do. I have no explanation as to why such horrible things would happen to the same family, but I do firmly believe that these things are hurting God's heart as much - even more - than yours & ours. You are a very good man - a wonderful husband & father, and you can't allow your mind to think things like that!! We will probably never understand situations like this until we get to Heaven ... and even then, we still may not understand them. But your family is continuing to inspire us all by the way you are choosing to deal with such awful adversity. You are glorifying God in a time where a lot of people would be angry with Him (and it's okay to be angry with Him - He understands that). None of us can possibly understand what y'all are going through ... all we can say is that our thoughts & prayers are with y'all and that we are so deeply sorry.
ReplyDeleteSo many things happen that we cannot possibly understand. You guys are both awesome parents and the last ones in the world to deserve anything like what you've been faced with. Your strength and faith in God is an inspiration to all. Praying for Alicia and her family to have a peace in the next couple of days that passes all understanding. Tell Briley and Bryson and Trina we love them very much and can't wait for you all to be home.
ReplyDeleteLove, Kelly, Reno, Alyssa and Morgan
ReplyDeleteJohn, always remember that God puts us where he wants us when he needs us to be there. God has his own way of using our strengths to reach others and you should be honored that you and your family are his chosen soldiers. He never said it would be easy but he would get you through it..Revelation 2:10"Be faithful, even to the point of death and I will give you the crown of life." I said my rosary for you and your family today, give everyone a hug for us, we are all here fo you. Uel, Sharon, Nick and Ashley
ReplyDeleteI don't understand it either, John. I know that you aren't getting any "paybacks" because you are a good person. Always have been. You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know if you need anything - we are just 30 mins away. ~Courtney
ReplyDeleteJohn- As your former CCD teacher, I feel I should have Godly words of wisdom to say, but I am at a loss to explain why the horrific events have occured to your family. The longer I live, the more I realized that bad things happen to very good people. What I do know is that I am amazed, but not surprised at your continuing courage in the face of all this adversity. You have grown into a truly fine man! There are not many of us who do know the right things to say to those who are grieving, and who don't blame ourselves when something bad happens, so what you are feeling is normal. I know it may not feel like you are doing or saying the right things, but you are by continuing to stand beside your family with your head held high, giving them your strength and support to keep going. I know God will bless your family, and send His angels to keep watch over you and give you the strength you need to get through this trying time. I have, and will continue to pray for your dear, sweet family. Love to you all-- Suzanne
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